There are some customs that I have encountered in Vietnam that are certainly foreign to me, and two are in the bedroom. First, the bedrooms do not have closets built in. One must purchase a wardrobe in which to store clothing. There are rods for hanging clothes, and usually shelves and one or more drawers as well. Of course they can be packed up and taken along if one should decide to move to a new residence. Bedrooms may or may not also have a dresser, but it is not the large piece of furniture I am accustomed to. The one in my bedroom has four tiny drawers, a shelf, and a fairly good sized mirror.
Another strange thing I have encountered in the bedrooms is the lack of flat top bed sheets. They simply are not used here. Now in my mind a top sheet is something used to help keep the blankets clean, so they do not need to be laundered as often as the sheets are. When you buy a sheet set here, you will get a fitted sheet, a pair of pillow slips, and usually one or two bolster covers. I have taken to making my own flat sheets rather than constantly washing blankets. Truthfully, I very seldom use a blanket anyway because the nights are so warm.
In several countries in Asia, and particularly in Vietnam, children are taught to pass items to others using two hands. It doesn't matter if the item is as small as a credit card or as big as a puppy, a two-handed pass is more respectful. And the receiver is also encouraged to receive the item with both hands, for the same reason.
At the dining table, if you are not given chopsticks, you will have a fork and tablespoon with which to eat your meal. You will not usually be offered a knife. One picks the food up with the spoon and puts it onto the fork to transfer it to the mouth. Sometimes spoons are used with chopsticks, particularly if the food is soup or noodles with broth. Then the food is picked up with the chopsticks and transferred to the spoon. If a piece of food is too large to eat in one bite, it is acceptable to bite off a piece and let the rest fall back into the dish.
I have had a hard time getting used to watching people eat with their hands. Of course it is something we in the West only do in casual situations, but here it is much more acceptable. If you are eating a piece of chicken for example, nobody (except me) would look twice at you if you were to pick it up and eat it. I guess that there's not much alternative if one doesn't have a knife.
The students in my class are quite young, and I often eat the same lunch at school as they do. We are given a fork and a tablespoon, and sometimes it is a chore for the children, particularly those who are even younger than my students, to eat with a big spoon. The fork is only used to stab the fruit they are given for dessert. They stab it and hold it on the fork like a lollipop to eat it. Sometimes they question me when they see me use a fork to eat my meal, and when I pick up the fruit and eat it out of my hand.
Soup is eaten in a way we westerners would find odd. The rice and soup are served to students in two separate compartments of their trays, and they spoon one or two spoonfuls of soup at a time into their rice and eat the two together. I'm considered an odd bird for eating soup first. Of course nobody is right or wrong, it is just the way different cultures have developed things that work for them.
It has been my experience that the Vietnamese are not "touchy- feely" people, and most would be uncomfortable receiving a friendly hug. However it is not uncommon to see women walking hand in hand, or with arms around one another. Likewise, men sometimes walk with an arm comfortably over another man's shoulder, but you seldom see couple walking hand in hand. Other displays of affection between couples, such as kissing, are strictly not seen in public.
Many times I have been greeted by the parents of my students and others with whom I do not have a close relationship with a bow. Again, this is a mark of respect. I am older than these parents, and they show deference to elders. Sometimes people my age or older will do the same thing, simply because Asians are a respectful people.
I know there are other customs that still evade me, and I am bound to make faux pas from time to time, but I am confident that I will be corrected in the most gentle of ways. I am working at learning to pass and receive with both hands, and am trying hard to learn to pick up my food when appropriate.
No comments:
Post a Comment